Guest
Book for

John
Reagan Philips

Page 1 of 10

These comments are up to May 20,
2006

Until Nov 4, 2006—Go
to www.legacy.com and look up John Philips

March 24, 2006

Dear
John,

We love you. We understand.

Randa and Riyad

March 11, 2006

Hello
Jane, Jean and Peter. I have been thinking of you all and hope that you are
continuing to heal from your tremendous loss. I have John's picture on my
fridge and continue to marvel at what a wonderful, sweet person he was. I
know that Sarah misses him. I think of you and him as I hike through the
red rocks of my new home. We keep him close to our hearts as we do you.

Nancy
Neff (Ivins, UT )

March 6, 2006

Dear
Jane, Jean and Peter

The tributes written here are so sad, and so affirming of the love and
courage in your family. We grieve for your loss of John and his loss of
life.

Sincerely,

Diane

Diane
Teichert (Lexington, MA )

January 30, 2006

"Don't
cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Every day I smile because John happened in my life.

sarah
rumbellow (boston, MA )

January 3, 2006

Beannacht
(Blessings)

On the day when

the weight deadens

on your shoulders

and you stumble

may the clay dance

to balance you.

And when your eyes

freeze behind

the grey window

and the ghost of loss

gets in to you,

may a flock of colors,

indigo, red, green,

and azure blue,

come to awaken in you

a meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays

in the curach of thought

and a stain of ocean

blackens beneath you,

May there come across the waters

a path of yellow moonlight

to bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours

may the clarity of light be yours

may the fluency of the ocean be yours

may the protection of the ancestors be yours

And so may a slow

wind work these words

of love around you,

an invisible cloak

to mind your life.

John O'Donohue

Anam Chara (soul friend)

Tami
Derezotes (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

December 15, 2005

John
was a hero for me and a guide. His death shocked me in ways so greatly. I
volunteered with him at the library and had to stop after his passing cause
it reminded me of him too much, even though I know he would not have wanted
this. If you would like the pages written at his memorial typed up I will
do it for you in very little time. If its already done, can I request a
copy?

Benjamin
Moroney (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

December 13, 2005

Dear
Jean Jane and Peter... On Sunday, I lit a candle during the Worldwide
Candle Lighting. Of course I lit it for Hillary and Rose, and many others,
but this year I mostly thought about John. Actually, so much of my thought
includes John. How precious this life is, how temporary. How powerful one
lifetime can be, how much one person can do.

You three are doing so much to enlighten us all; with your open hearts,
your candor, your willingness to spread the information about the truth of
drugs today. And John, in just one short life, did so much. He emulaated
true integrity, absolute truth and love. WOW, such a blessing. He felt all
human emotions completely.

I was skiing down Will's Hill, and John was everywhere, and yet painfully,
not here. I, like Paul, will miss him most when I realize he can't enjoy
this perfect powder or that perfect sunset. Or, maybe he does and he is
watching over all of us... Helping us all have a little more truth and
integrity in each ezpression. And forget-me-nots, since I have known John,
they have been my favorite mountain flower... Of course, he would choose
forget-me-nots. He drew them on the letters he wrote to Liani Choles (my
daughter) in grade school.

May the flame of love in all of our hearts light you and keep you safe and
help to heal the immense grief that you are working through. With loving
support, John, Jane, Jean and Peter, I will forget you not. Tami Derezotes

Tami
Derezotes (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

December 12, 2005

Dear
Jean and Peter and Jane, thank you so much for the note and memories of
John.

I can only imagine your pain, I was so hopeful that John had found another
way. When I spoke with him in the days just preceding his tragic death he
told me about his treatment and his intent to go to the University. He was
always so supportive and proud of Amanda getting her life back together and
starting at the University.

I understand the heartache of a child on drugs and alcohol. How quickly the
bar drops from wanting a Harvard graduation to wanting your child just to
survive.

If there is ever anything that I or Amanda can do for you just let us know.
I really admire your honesty, so many parents have hidden their similar
tragedies. They lose their ability to help other children in the same
situation. You have been so lucky to have such supportive friends, many
people shy away from the tragedy of parent's with addicted children, I
guess from fear.

I know that John did not really realize he might die, it is so final and
someone so young has a hard time understanding the finality.

Jean and Amanda

Jean
Boyack (Salt Lake City,
UT )

December 7, 2005

Dear
Jean and Peter,

We received your lovely note today. Thank you.

The bravery and candor you have shown - we're in awe. No one will ever know
how many people you have helped. Bless you.

Much love,

Chris and Barb

November 24, 2005

Dear
Jean and Peter,

While I don't know you personally, I know of you from my brother Norman
Waitzman. He speaks of you guys often and I know you made the transition
into Salt Lake City
smoother for him and his family. I hope their friendship brings some solace
and helps in your current transition. I was very touched by what you wrote
in the Tribune and know John was and is deeply loved by many. God and peace
be with you.

Debby
Waitzman (Hoboken, NJ )

[email-masked]

November 22, 2005

Dear
Jean, Peter and Jane,

After more than two weeks, the words you spoke at John's gathering are
still fresh in my thoughts. It seems impossible to make sense of what's
happened to you and your family. Your commitment to be open and honest has
removed a veil of complacency in many parents we have talked with over the
past few weeks. Know that many are thinking of you and your family every
day and wishing you peace. Our thoughts are with you. We only wish that
they could bring you comfort.

Susan
and Dennis Corth/Glass (SLC,
UT )

November 19, 2005

Dear
Peter, Jean and Jane,

My deepest sympathy goes out to all of you. I saw this young beautiful face
in the paper and my heart just ached. John's smile is addicting. I couldn't
take my eyes off his picture. You can tell that this wonderful young man
had happiness in his life. I also am struggling with a son who also started
using drugs at the young age of 13. He is now 21 and still is chained to
this horrible way of life. I was so very impressed to see your strength
Peter for being on the radio show Friday. You are truely a hero. My prayers
go out to you and your family at this time of saddness and loss. May God
bless you and your family and bring peace to make it through this sad time.

Judy
(Slc, UT )

[email-masked]

November 18, 2005

Please,
accept my most sincere sympathies on the loss of your precious son, John. I
did not know him, but I know your pain well. I called into the talk show
this morning to tell you about the loss of my own son, Robby Nunes, who
also died of a herion overdose on 4/16/01, at the age of 19.

I ask God to grant you peace and pray that, in time, your memories grow
sweeter and your pain less. I also ask God to bless you for speaking out
like this. Somewhere in Heaven, a very special angel now guides you.

Sandi
Daoust (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 17, 2005

I went
to elementary school with John.

He was a great person and a good friend.

I was flabbergasted when I heard what happened, John had always been so
athletic and healthy. My heart goes out to his family, I know they and many
others will miss him.

Lance
Brown (Centerville, UT )

November 17, 2005

Dear
Peter, Jean, and Jane,

I was updating my scrapbook last week and I came across some old
photographs that I took at Antelope
Island. There were
all these wonderful pictures of Andrew, Paul, and John and all the O.C kids
playing in the water, starting little grass fires with the magnifying
glass, and of course putting up the tent. That day is one of my best memories
of the fun all the boys had together. I will miss John and his long blonde
hair and quiet smile. John was a good friend to all and a sweet young man.
He will be missed.

Jacquie
Kick (Raleigh, NC )

[email-masked]

November 16, 2005

"Tender
Soul", how true.

When I arrived home after a long day at the office, my son, a school mate
of John's, ran up to me and said that his friend had died of an overdose.
He was visibly shaken, saddened. I told him that I was so sad for him and
for your family and that I wished him peace of mind, as do I wish you.
After he walked away, I cried.

I am very sorry for the change in your life, and wish you much peace and
comfort at this time knowing that John is a good and tender soul.

Suzanne
Cunningham (Salt Lake City)

November 15, 2005

I too
would like to add my appreciation for your honest and loving tribute to
your son. Thank you for your courage.

November 14, 2005

I
considered John my friend although I did not know him extremely well. John
ran cross country with me our sophomore year in high school. John had an
amazing aura around him all the time, and honestly I looked up to him. I
loved running with him. I got to know him better while hanging out in the
tetons with him, paul, and owen. For two summers we had a blast up there. I
never could figure out exactly why, but i really did look up to John.
Although we never became really close friends, we definitely had some
awesome times together. Thanks John.

Trevor
Harper (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 14, 2005

Today
was a great day in the northwest. Although the sun never got very high in
the November sky, it was sunny. The air was clean and crisp. I rode my bike
to the silent bay where the water reflected the calm blue of the late
afternoon. I loved every moment of it. However, tonight I have found myself
looking for something. I think that I have been looking for John. I know
that John would have shared the day with me in quiet love, he would have
stood there and watched the sun set in perfect understanding of the moment.
Thank you John for all that you have given me and all those around you.

With love your friend

Paul
Kimbrough (SLC/Bellingham, WA )

[email-masked]

November 14, 2005

I do
not know you, nor did I know your son, but your honesty has touched my
family. My son-in-law was on a plane with his father on his way to The
Betty Ford Center for his 5 year use of heroine. He is such a wonderful
caring young man and my daughter loves him dearly. They have a 3yr old and
a 1yr old. His dad was reading the paper on the plane trip, and J. noticed
your son's obituary and said to his Dad, "Wow, that guy looks so
young. What happened to him?" His Dad handed him the paper so he could
read your wonderful tribute to your son. His Dad followed up with, "I
hope we are not the next ones writing this story." We are praying that
along with all the other stuff that has happened, John's obituary has an
impact on our son-in-law, and anyone else with a loved one who is in the
terrible grips of this drug.

Thank you and God bless your family.

name
withheld

November 14, 2005

Dear
Jean, Peter, and Jane,

I don't know if you'll remember me, but we lived 2 doors down from you for a
short time starting 3 years ago. When we had our little girl, Jean came by to
see her, and Peter and Jean, you always had such joy in your faces when you
would talk about her with us, and about raising your own two kids. We have
often referred to Peter telling us "be sure to take her fishing and
she'll turn out okay"...that is advice we will heed, yet it makes us so
sad that while you did EVERYTHING RIGHT, it wasn't enough to conquer John's
demons.

Whenever I would walk by your house with Tia in her stroller, I knew, just
knew, that you were all inside TALKING...not watching tv, but being together.
Your very house itself gave off the vibes of the warm and wonderful family it
housed. I would see John around the neighborhood a lot. He was always kind
and friendly. Little did I know how much he was suffering.

I learned of John's death on the news Friday night. My heart broke to listen
to you talk about it. You are such kind and lovely people. I can't get you
out of my mind. And I hold you in my heart. I've had a desire to just come by
and hug you guys. I might do that sometime and I hope that is okay.

Clark and I send you our thoughts. Peace.

Kim
Bloom (Cottonwood Heights,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 14, 2005

I am
also the mother of a child plauged with addiction. I want you to know that
your hearfelt tribute to your son was beautiful and honest and touched my
heart. I applaud you for your honesty, your willingness to share your
thoughts, and I can tell you they helped me. I pray for your comfort and hope
that maybe for a moment today I can help share your sorrow and lift you. May
God bless you and comfort you at this time.

Name
Withheld (Cottonwood Heights,
UT )

November 12, 2005

Peter,
yesterday Norm Waitzman, upon my return to town, told of John’s death
and of the loving reflections upon his life and your time with him. This
morning I’ve had the emotional privilege of sharing the guest book
responses to joys John brought to life and the support that you, Jean, and
Jane provided—and gained from—him. Your review of his life gives
us new commitment to share the best of times and to build understanding of
life’s challenges. With sympathy and appreciation.

Bob
Huefner (Salt Lake City, UT )

November 11, 2005

I
remember a honey-skinned, white- haired athlete in swimming trunks at my
son's birthday party at Cherry Hill. And
there he was again at the Liberty
Park pool for his own
birthday party. He had an easy smile and a friendly nature.

I appreciate the wonderful story about John's life. John and his story have
touched so many people.

Bless you

Leslie
Lewis (Centerville, UT )

[email-masked]

November 11, 2005

I do not
know you or your family. but this story touched my heart so much. You are
such an honest family and you have a beautiful son. I am saving this article
for my teenage son to show him what could happen to him or any one he knows
if they choose to try drugs. I have so much respect for you and the
truthfulness of your life. He is up above watching over you and your family.
Don't ever think that you did wrong as parents because when we are young we
know it all and parents don't know anything. He knew you were right about it
all. He wants you to know that.

November 10, 2005

Sincere
condolences from us and all your friends at CPWR. As you know, our son is
only two years older and I can't begin to imagine your sorrow.

Jim
& Donna Platner (Silver Spring,
MD )

November 10, 2005

Dear
Jean, Peter and Jane,

I feel I am a much better person after having read these tributes to John.
And this world is a much better place because John shared his caring, tender
spirit so freely. Jean, your dad John Reagan and his wonderful wife Janice
are life friends of our family here in Southern Pines, NC. The Reagans are
the best...just ask anyone in town! (I met you here when you visited
Brownson). Upon their return flight from Utah to NC, I had a chance to visit with
John and Janice and take them some food. We talked of the glowing spirit that
John was and is. For decades, my husband and I have enjoyed flyfishing and
hiking. Camping in Yellowstone and the
Tetons is our favorite thing. I will indeed think about and "talk
about" your John when I look up into those glorious mountains. Our hope
is that rereading these tributes to John will give your family comfort. May
words help as much as is humanly possible to put a smile on your faces and a
spring in your step. We Harpers send you much love.

Kim
and Walter Harper (West End,
NC )

November 9, 2005

Dear
Peter and Jean,

Please know that I share your great sadness at the loss of your son. How
tragic it is that this has occured. My thoughts and prayers and those of my
wife are with you.

Robert
Christiansen (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 9, 2005

May God
bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Terrance
Cantrell (Roy, UT )

November 9, 2005

Dear
Peter, Jean and Jane,

My brother Norman wrote to me of your terrible loss. My heart goes out to all
of you at this unspeakably sad time. I have read about John in this obituary
and Norm's eulogy, and I'm sad for me, too, because I never got to meet such
a special human being. I hope I get to meet you all when next I'm in Utah. With warmest
wishes from London, UK. Mimi Waitzman

Mimi
Waitzman (London)

November 9, 2005

I have
vivid memories of one of John's first days longboarding. John, myself, Paul
kimbrough, and Shawn Komlos rode up to lambs canyon in Paul Kimbrough's car
while listening to the Toots and the Maytals. John seemed to introduce a
happy reggae-like spirit into all of our lives through his musical interests.
He certainly did on that day; the blue skies, the fall leaves, and the
rippling stream beside the road all seemed harmonic with John as he carved
down the canyon like water would with his thick locks flowing behind him in
the wind. I vividly remember that day every time i listen to the Toots and
the Maytals. The day was peaceful and symbolic of the inner peace that John
often portrayed.

On that first day of longboarding John outrode all of us who had rode
before. His athletic excellence and natural talent always amazed me, and he
exhibited this excellence with great modesty.

I, like many of my best friends (Paul kimbrough, Shawn Komlos, and Trevor
Harper), always looked up to John. I will miss John.

Tyler
Bugden (Medford, MA )

November 9, 2005

Peter:

I am very sorry to see this notice and my condolensces go out to you and
your family; hang in there,

Tim

tim
smeeding (syracuse, NY )

November 9, 2005

Dear
Jean, Peter, and Jane,

We are so sorry about your loss. There are few words to say other then our
thoughts are with you and your family at this time. Mary and Stefano, Rome, Italy.

Mary
& Stefano Merva (Rome,
Italy)

November 8, 2005

The
tide recedes,

But leaves behind

Bright seashells on the sand.

The sun goes down,

But gentle warmth

Still lingers on the land.

The music stops,

Yet echoes on

In sweet refrains...

For every joy that passes,

Something beautiful remains.

—Author Unknown

From what I understand of John's affinity with nature and the out-doors, I
am sure you will see plently of "John-Joy" for years to come. I
pray you receive comfort from them.

With deepest sympathy,

Kathy
(NF )

[email-masked]

November 8, 2005

Dear
Jean, Peter and Jane,

I was so sorry to hear about John. Although I have not seen him for a
couple of years, my experience with him as his student teacher in sixth
grade at the OC was one I will never forget. I instantly bonded with John
as we shared a love of the outdoors especially fishing. He was so patient
and willing to try anything new that I asked him to do. He will always be
one of my favortite kids! Travis and Steven enjoyed skiing with him at Brighton and will miss him very much. John was a
special person who will remain in my heart always. I will continue to talk
about him.

Pam
Clark (Salt Lake City, UT )

[email-masked]

November 8, 2005

I went
to the OC with John for a few years, and though we weren't close friends,
he always seemed like a sweet guy. I remember thinking how cool he and Paul
Kimbrough were. I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for what happened.

Ella
White, University of Puget Sound (Tacoma, WA
)

[email-masked]

November 8, 2005

well i
really never knew john but my health teacher read his obituary to my class
it touched me and i could tell u guys are going through alot i know how it
feels to lose someone to heroine m deepest sympathy to all who knew him

cherise
sheehan (salt lake city,
UT )

November 8, 2005

I
couldn't think of a worse way to discover Peter's middle name. John made a
huge impression in my life. I first met John at Clayton Middle School.
I hung out with him and eventually discovered his usage of marijuana. I
wanted to fit in with John, him being my hero, and try smoking with him. He
strongly disagreed with me trying. He said that I was too smart to go the
way he went. I just wish I would've had the strength to bring him with me.
The more I think about it I had a lot more in common with him, seeing how
we were both on a first name basis with his father. Peter, Jean, and Jane
my heart and love go out to you guys. I love you all and am sorry for our
loss. I know I won't be able to take John's place but I sure would love to
try. I love you!

David
Packer (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 8, 2005

I was
Johns P.E. Teacher in 7th and 8th grade at Clayton Middle School.
Although every student that passes through the doors of Clayton is special
in some way, some seem to leave a lasting impression. John was definitely
one of those students for me. I remember how much he loved to run and how
good at it he was. He made it look effortless and I never had to
"coax" him to give it his best on the days we ran the mile in
class. I think I connected with John so much because of his passion for the
outdoors and sense of adventure. He enjoyed doing many of the activities
that I did and it was always exciting on Mondays to hear about what he and
Paul K. did over the weekend. Whether it was digging an avalanche pit,
skiing or camping out on a cold blistery weekend John always seemed to do
something out of the ordinary and unique for kids his age. Middle school is
such a time of transition for kids, I am always delighted when I run into
my students years later and find out what great things they are doing with
their lives. I wish that I had that opportunity with John because I know
that even though his life was short he was able to accomplished some truly
great things. Jane....John could not have had a greater sister, I can only
imagine how hard this is must be for you, my heart goes out to you during
this challenging time, keep strong.

Betsy
Spiegel (Salt lake City)

[email-masked]

November 8, 2005

Heartbreak.

A colleague told me about an obituary Friday that made her cry. My heart
began to stagger with the details as I realized, my God, it was John.

Jean, Peter, Jane; I will always hold close the vision and laughter of the
sweet kindergarten boy I knew. Sending you love and holding deep peace for
you with this heartbreak.

Heartbreak.

Pam, former OC kindergarten teacher

Pam
Bradshaw Fitches (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 7, 2005

Jean,
Peter, and Jane,

It's been awhile since I last saw John in person, however, he had such a
wonderful presence that it would be difficult to forget the times when I
saw John more frequently. I remember as a little girl being in awe of him.
His quiet generosity and affinity with nature made me wish I had an older
brother of my own. I admired the way he so instinctively knew about life
and his enthusiasm in connecting with others. These qualities made me want
to learn and live with more gusto.

With love,

Sarah
Cover (Salt Lake, UT )

November 7, 2005

If you
read between the lines

Of the script that is our life

You may find that

The writing holds the answers

To the questions white and black

If you look deep inside

Into the heart that is our life

You may find out

That sincerity is the oxygen

You cannot live without

If you taste the sweetness

The utter truth and pureness

You may see

The way in which to go

The wings to fly free

Grace
Centini (Minneapolis, MN )

November 7, 2005

I do
not know John, but the situation is all too familiar. it takes alot to be
as honest as your family has been and i think it is great. all my love and
prayers go out to your family.

(salt lake city)

November 6, 2005

I went
to east for a short time with john.. he was so unique and loved by all
those who knew him.. he had such passion for the outdoors and i know he
shared that passion in many of the things he did in his short life.. he
influenced so many lives and will be remembered for all the amazing things
he brought to this world.. the crazy world that this is.. i will miss you
john.. we all will

anonymous
anonymous (slc, UT )

November 6, 2005

John
was a great kid. Although I have no complete memories of him, what I do
remember paints an accurate picture of his personality and love for life.

He was the kid who taught me to appreciate the bugs on the ground. To this
day I am fascinated and refuse to squash anything crawling.

We played hop scotch in your driveway with many different colors of chalk.
John showed me how to use those rubber disk things.

I fell on my bike and John helped me up.

He was drawing something in the dirt with a stick, and I watched,
fascinated.

We were doing a craft thing at Wheeler Farm and I couldn't for the life of
me figure it out. John left his project to come help me.

I remember his smile.

Although his death was and continues to be very confusing, it's the little
things that help us remember him best.

Namaste.

Addie
Benson-Kingsland (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 6, 2005

From
the first time I really got to know John as a parent-teacher at the OC; it
was clear this kid had an extraordinary drive and uniquely compassionate
soul. Whenever I saw John over the years skiing, camping or sitting on the
couch, those qualities never changed or left him. That John had so much
potential to go wherever he wanted in life makes it all the more a waste to
lose him. If there is anything to gain from this tragedy it is that I
sincerely hope John’s contemporaries remember his potential and
compassion and use that to always live and experience their lives to the
fullest. You only get one shot here.

Brent
Cook (Solana Beach, CA )

[email-masked]

November 6, 2005

Jean,

I worked with you at the phone company, at the time it was US West. I
remember how much you wanted this little boy and how excited you were to
bring him in for us all to see. And then again when you got Jane. I
remember you as being the sweetest person always had a smile on your face.
I know you were the best mom, and John was lucky to have you and Peter for
his parents in his short life. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Sharon
(Bailey) Sorenson (Riverton,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 6, 2005

Memorial
for John Reagan Phillips: 11/5/05

“Anyone’s death always releases something like an aura of
stupefaction, so difficult is it to grasp this eruption of nothingness and
to believe it

has actually taken place.” These are the words of Gustav Flaubert.

I have been John’s pediatrician since he first came into all of our
lives. In the past few years I would not see him regularly but when I did
we would chat about Yellowstone, fly fishing and whatever…he was a
sensitive and very cool kid.

I often tell new parents that an inherent part of being a parent means
feeling guilty. It comes with the territory. When our children get sick it
is easier to fault ourselves for their illness than to accept the fact that

it may have developed for no ascertainable reason. If we can blame
ourselves we believe we have some control over the situation. We are not
the playthings of a capricious and uncertain universe.

But this was one of those tragic situations where guilt was not even an
issue. The reality of John’s death was biological. The drugs had a
life and determinism of their own

Our memories will continue to nourish the heart and grief will abate. It
will never disappear, though, because the universe has been turned upside
down and inside out.

Perhaps we can take some solace in the words of Francis Gunther writing in
Death Be Not Proud:

“Nothing, not even the birth of one’s own child, brings one so
close to life as his death.”

Louis
Borgenicht (SLC, UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

And a
woman held a babe against her bosom said, Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your childen.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come
through you but not from you. And though they are with you, yet they belong
not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they
have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls.
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not
even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make
them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You
are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The
archer sees the mark upon the the path of the infinite, and He bends you
with his might that His arrows may go swift & far. Let your bending in
the archers hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is
stable.

K
Cavin

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

Although
I did not know John. My son Cavin knew him & spoke of him as a spirit
of the most gentle & giving. My heart breaks for you as you have lost
this battle with this swept under the carpet disease heroin. I too have
lost my son to heroin, he has been missing for months. I have read so much
of a young man with so much to give & all the good & joy Johns
short life brought to so many. May The Lord Show You His Gift Of Peace

Kelly
Cavin (SLC, UT )

November 5, 2005

I grew
up with john at CCNS and at the OC. His presence brought about a urge to
get up and do something, whether it was playing 9 square or just getting up
to enjoy the view.

Everyone, especially the girls wanted to be around John, his spirit was so
bright and inviting that even now i know that he is here in everyone that
he has ever touched and came in to contact with.

This quote reminds me of john so much, it seems like something he'd say
"he left pieces of himself behind him everywhere he went. 'Its easier
to feel the sunlight without them,' he said." John actually lived and
not many can say that they have.

my thoughts and love go out to Jean, Peter and Jane, I love guys so much
and i just want you to know that john has left this hand print on my heart.

Namaste

Hillary
Pruitt (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

Having
lost a nephew, like my brother, to an overdose several years ago, and as a
frequent reader of the obituaries, I wanted to say how much respect I have
for you and your family for your honesty and beautiful words. John was
clearly a beautiful soul, and you, his parents, must be as well. My prayers
are with you during this difficult time.

Alisa
Cutler (Draper, UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

I will
admit that it has been a few years since I last saw John and even longer
since we were students together at the Open Classroom. But strangely when I
heard that he had died I immediately knew that I would miss him, even worse
I could think of dozens of people who would miss him even more. I wish that
I could be home in Salt
Lake now to be with
these people and to give them my love, but this little inadequate note will
have to suffice.

Katherine
Pioli (Bryn Mawr, PA )

November 5, 2005

As a
frequent reader of the obituaries, I want to commend you on your honesty.
What a wonderful and heartfelt tribute to your precious boy. I pray that it
will help another soul as they confront addiction. Your willingness to let
people read about your tragedy may prevent another one and that is the true
mark of humanity. Your son is lucky to be a member of a family that sets a
wonderful example in the aftermath of a tragedy. My prayers are with you.

Erin
Simmons (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

Dear
Peter and family,

My heartfelt condolences. I pray that you find the strength to bear this
tragic loss and come through stronger to continue to make the world better
as you wonderful people have been doing.

Shahrukh

Shahrukh
Khan (Cos Cob, CT )

November 5, 2005

I
didn't know John, but I am the mother of someone who did. I have
volunteered at City
Academy for several
years and know some of the kids who are deeply saddened by his death. I
remember them telling me-- long before this-- what a truly nice kid he was.
I grieve for you now. This kind of death strikes fear in the hearts of all
parents who know how reckless our kids can be as they jump full force into
the world without understanding the consequences. My heart goes out to you.

Suzanne
Tronier (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 5, 2005

Today
is the third day of life without John. We got to know John on our family
travels. Our son looked up to John; John taught him how to catch fish with
bread in a plastic bag, initiating his love and talent for fishing. John
chose to spend hours going up and down a stretch of Green
River on a small kayak, each time taking either our son or
daughter along, when he could have enjoyed more challenging rapids on his
own. Even at 16 (on our last travel together) when he gravitated toward
kids his age, John was our son’s buddy, despite a 7 year age difference.
The last time we saw John was in June 2005 in downtown Salt Lake.
It was a year and a half since we had last seen him. He had become a
beautiful young man. John approached us, hugged us, and struck a friendly
conversation, asking us about us. The teenage shyness had given way to warm
maturity. We thought “what an accomplishment, Jean and Peter! We
always marveled at your parenting skills, the layers of balance each
decision and word represented. The John we talked to that June evening was
testimony to your unconditional love and support, your untiring efforts at
creating a family circle of non-materialistic values, love of nature and
human beings. Little did we know that John was not yet free of the beast.

Gunseli
and Cihan (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 5, 2005

Jean,
Peter and Jane,

I am so sorry for your loss, for all of our loss. I did not know John very
well but every time I saw him he made my heart sing. His love for the out
of doors was so obvious, his love for this earth was so in-bedded in his
being, if only he could have put that love towards himself. Drugs are a
horrible thing. Thank you for sharing a bit of his story, not being
ashamed. Instead you show great love and wisdom for John and Jane and for
the community that surrounds all of our lives. You have been so courageous
and never waivered in what you wanted most for John. You are amazing
parents and Jane I am so sure you were an amazing sister, John was lucky to
have you all.

Jill

Jill
Alger-James (Salt Lake,
UT )

November 5, 2005

John
(Bubbles) - A heart filled only with love. Your short, passionate presence
made a beautiful impact upon all who knew you. Thank you Brother!

Jeff
Dodge (Portland, OR )

November 5, 2005

Bubbles,
you're a good man and will be missed. Peace out see ya soon.

Nate
Salazar (Portland, OR )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

I know
that he is not here now but he will be with us always in our minds and in
our hearts. Now he is free from the oppression of addiction. Keep it
simple.

Lindsey
Kanehara (Sandy, UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

John I
didn't know you that well. But I know that you were a great person and a
great friend! I just wish I could have gotten to know you better. You will
always be loved and remebered by many people! You were a great person!
R.I.P John!

-Alyssa Trivett-

Alyssa
Trivett (S.L.C, UT )

[email-masked]

November 5, 2005

John
was one of those kids at school that, even if you had never talked to him,
you knew who he was. He always had a reputation for being kind and friendly
to everyone around him, and he will be greatly missed.

Sara
Meadows (SLC, UT )

November 4, 2005

Thank
you for your honest, open obituary. We have a 20 year old
recovering-heroin-addict son, and know the pain you have experienced. Ours
too is a flyfisher, skier and outdoorsman with a gentle, sweet spirit. I
once was told that the gentle ones appear most vulnerable. The disease of
addiction is such a horrific villian. John's story touched very close to
our hearts. One day at a time for you and your family. God bless you.

K
& M Quealy (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 4, 2005

On
trips to Belize, Costa Rica, and the Green
River, John was like an older brother to me. I always looked
up to him.

May he always rest in peace.

Mehmet
Bilginsoy (SLC, UT )

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

I am
so sorry about your loss. Your family has my heartfelt sympathy.

Thank you so much for being honest and direct about John's addiction and
his struggles to get better. Your honesty has touched and helped many
people, and is a great tribute to John's life.

Elizabeth
Howell (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 4, 2005

I feel
compelled to add to these thoughts. I did not know him either but his story
is much like my own precious son's. Thank you for the heart breaking
authenticity and the intimate look @ the soul of such a beautiful young
man. He lives on-finally free of the chains of addiction-in the arms of a
loving Father. You will see and hold him again because of love. There is no
stronger power in the universe.

Bonnie
(Provo, UT )

November 4, 2005

Jane,
Jean and Peter - I can't express my deepest sympathy for your loss of John.
And I am so sorry that I am out of town and can't be there for support. We
love your friendship and especially the joy Jane brings when she comes by
the house. I was shocked when Lisa told me how she and Jean were talking
about John the night before he passed, and then...this. Again, I am so
sorry for your loss. Cherish each day, and love those around you.

Creighton

November 4, 2005

Dearest
John,

I'll never forget our time together at the open classroom. And as long as
it has been since those days, I have yet to meet up with someone whose eyes
don't reflect our childhood there. In the all too epic words of Van
Morrison, "let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic" I love
you John, your presence will be with me always.

Baya

Baya
Voce-Hoffmann

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

DEAR
JEAN,PETER,JANE

I AM SO VERY SORRY TO HERE ABOUT JOHN. PLEASE KNOW THAT MY MEMORIES OF HIM
WAS THE LITTLE BOY WITH THE BEAUTIFUL HAIR,

AND HIS KIND AND SWEETNESS WHENEVER HE CAME INTO THE OFFICE. I WISH YOU ALL
PEACE AND COMFORT AT THIS DIFFICULT TIME.

JERI
BROWN ((FROM DR. LOU'S))

November 4, 2005

Jean,
Peter, and Jane: We all do our best, but sometimes that is not enough.
Words escape me to express my sorrow at thiw news. I wish I could come to
the srvice, but this will have to suffice. It is not a surprise that you
elected to tell the entire story, since that has always been how you do
things. We will be thinking of you.

Jane Allen, Mark and Christine Doman.

Jane
Allen (Ann Arbor, MI )

November 4, 2005

The
essence of John,

I am the peace maker on the battlefield, a considerate observer who
delights in other people’s quiet joys. I’m a naturally strong,
healthy, wholesome beach boy. I’m an untamed tarantula; sly,
twinkling and mischievous. I am a fly fishing freak that is a peaceful
traveler.

6th grade graduation diploma

Love ya,

Claudia

November 4, 2005

Johny
was a great guy, i will always remeber art class with him.He will always be
remebered in my mind and many many others.i will miss him and hes always
loved.R.i.p john

Derek
wheeler (Salt lake city,
UT )

November 4, 2005

Dear
Peter, Jean, and Jane,

I am so sorry about John. I cannot count the times we waved and smiled at
each other as one or the other arrived home or left on one of those
innumerable sidetrips in our busy lives. I would smile at his hair and
smile even more at the warm, gentle light in his shining eyes and his
friendly words. I marvel now how the time I have lived in my house seems to
have been measured by the growth of John and Jane, from tiny cannonballs of
energy and speed to grown and loving and lovely adults. Watching them grow
has been one of the great pleasures of being your neighbor. Please know
that you and John are all in my heart, and that, even as we bid him
farewell for a time, others are reaching out in love to welcome him home
again.

Maryacrossthestreet
(Salt Lake City)

November 4, 2005

John
was a very good friend of my daughter's. She loved him deeply. When she
left for college to Boston
she left her very much loved bird "Squishy" in care of John. The
bird loved John and Jess felt it appropriate that he go to live with him.
My son also knew John and thought the world of him. Even though I only met
him a few times I remember him being such a beautiful boy. Inside and out.
My daughter regrets that she cannot come out from school in Boston to attend his
funeral so I will be there in her place. I am so sorry for his loss!

Jana
Lee Koyle (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

Jean,
I met you breifly over the phone when you were making treatment arrangments
for John. I want you to know how much I appreciate the candor of John's
obituarie. Addiction is often kept a secret, which is a terrible disservice
to the disease and most importantly the people it touches. My thoughts are
with your family.

-Amanda Carpenter

amanda
carpenter (salt lake city,
UT )

November 4, 2005

I am
so sorry to here about John. He was a sweet spirit. I will always remember
him on the basketball floor, having the time of his life, I will miss his
wonderful smiling face.

Karen
O'Toole (SLC, UT )

November 4, 2005

I am a
relative of one of your neighbors - that's how I met John. My deepest,
deepest condolences on the loss of your precious son. He was such a good
young man, with a terrible demon. Thank you for sharing such a poignant
obituary. Heroin is indeed a thief and a murderer.

name
withheld (Bountiful, UT )

November 4, 2005

I
don't even think he knew my name. But it doesn't matter. He was always nice
to me--to everybody--and that's why I miss him. He was an incredible
person. I was struck deeply when I found out he had died, and it will stick
with me for a long time. I miss John, and I know so does everyone else who
ever met him. I'm so sorry Jane, Jean, Jessica, and Paul. We will never
forget him.

Katherine
Krahulec (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

I am
so soryy for your loss. I saw John at the library on Monday. He was so
pleasant and polite and asked me how I was, and asked that I tell my
daughter Lindsay hello. We will miss him and send heartfelt empathy to you
and yours.

Carla Kelley, teacher at City
Academy

Carla
Kelley (Salt Lake City)

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

Thank
you for your humble service in naming the cause of your son’s death.
We too have suffered the tragic, incomprehensible loss of a beautiful and
treasured young person to the disease of addiction. Though we don’t
know you, we know your suffering and pray that you will be comforted and strengthened,
and ultimately know peace. May your son’s spirit reveal itself to you
through your surviving loved ones, through nature, and through Grace
itself. Namaste.

RS
& CH (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 4, 2005

I did
not know your son or your family, but I was very touched by John's
obituary. My sons became involved with marijuana at about the same age, and
through the grace of God, were caught by the police. They have since turned
their lives around, but it could just as easily been them who died of
overdoses. Thank you so much for sharing John's story. You are very
courageous parents.

Name
Withheld (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 4, 2005

John
was an amazing guy. I met him through mutual friends my freshman year at
East, and we worked together at Foothill Library. Being around John was
always fun; there was never a dull moment when he was around. He knew how
to make me laugh and was there when I needed him. I will always remember
him. My sympathy goes out to the family, especially to his sister, Jane.

Eboni
Page (SLC, UT )

November 4, 2005

John
was a great man never left anyone out. He had the biggest heart and every
one will miss him. but he will allways be remembered as a kind and careing
man

kule
oman
(salt lake, UT )

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

My
daughter, Gabriela, is a 9th grade student at City Academy.
She admires John's friendly, gentle ways. She mentions that in her
experience, he treated younger students with respect. There will always be
a place in our hearts for John, and I think there will be a spot for him in
the group hugs she is so fond of being a part of!

Tammy
Murillo (Salt Lake City,
UT )

November 4, 2005

Jean,
Jane and Peter - My love goes out to you, and you are always in my
thoughts. I remember John as a lively and fantastic kid. He was an OC kid.
I remember, soon after his surgery for his vertebrae, John was back in
Donene's class, climbing all over the loft - surgery couldn't stop him for
a minute. I love you all. -Leigh

Leigh
Gutting

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

John
was one of my first friends ever. He was so beautiful and I will never
forget playing with him and growing up with him. I am a better person
because John was in my life and I am so thankful that I had him, even if it
was only for a short time. I love John and he will always be in my heart
because there is a little bit of him in me...in all of us.

Sarah
Rumbellow (Boston, MA )

November 4, 2005

Such a
beautiful boy. I was in A & D with John. We had wonderful
discussions-especially on the ride home. He loved his parents and knew how
much they supported him. He tried so hard.

anonymous
anonymous (SLC)

November 4, 2005

Although
I don't know you, it is obvious that this beautiful young man was not only
deeply loved, but truly blessed to have spent his life with such a devoted
family. I can only pray that the comforter will be your constant companion
as you mourn and miss this choice child.

November 4, 2005

Although
I did not know John well, as a teacher I respected and admired him at City Academy as a respectful, pleasant
and charming young man in our school community. I enjoyed working with him
in guitar class and talking with him outside of class. I was truly inspired
by his message at City
Academy's first
graduation last spring and was very proud of his accomplishments, as he
seemed to be proud and grateful for being able to finish high school. I
will remember him for his kind and gentle nature.

Deanna
Taylor (West Jordan, UT )

[email-masked]

November 4, 2005

John
was a beautiful, beautiful human being. John was a friend of my daughter's
and a friend of mine. I co-oped with his mother Jean (what a great mother!)
at the Open Classroom and remember him as quiet, funny, creative, and
loving. More recently I'd run into him around town and enjoy a chat, talk of
skateboards, music, and of the crazy world. Crazy, indeed. And now, to you
John, I just want to say, fly, little buddy, fly, and know I'll catch you
in the wind and speak for you through the poems. There is no end to the
spirit that carries us. Of this we can be sure.

Andy
Hoffmann (Salt Lake City,
UT )

[email-masked]