Frustrations of Community Living

Burnout

is a time to re-evaluate one's efforts. It is an opportunity for growth, especially in a loving and supportive community.

Frustration

is inevitable if you try something new. But cohousing is a sound concept, and the inevitable problems on the way can be overcome.

Fun and Celebrations

are an important part of cohousing. The community cannot function without the trust, friendship, and love of its members. We have lots to be proud of, and occasionally we celebrate our achievements.

Grudges

are not a good idea in a cohousing situation. Enjoy the diversity!

Privacy

is important but too much of it isolates people and preserves undesirable social structures. Our community is a concerted effort to overcome this isolation. Does this mean we have different privacy rules than society at large? Where are the limits? We cannot expect to know the answers right at the beginning, but we will undoubtedly learn a lot about this.

Responsibility

As long as we lived alone, responsibility has not been an issue since we have not had many choices. But a community of 26 households has some clout. Are we responsible for

• the children of other community members?
• the children in the neighborhood who play with our children?
• the birds eaten by our cats?
• recycling and conservation of resources?
• for community members voting and being informed about the candidates?

Resale Value

In a private living situation it is advantageous to maximize the resale value of your property. In cohousing, a high resale value is self-defeating, because it converts the community, for which we worked so hard, into an exclusive enclave for the rich. Fortunately, at the present time this is not yet a problem for us.

Spontaneity

Is a community only genuine if everything happens spontaneouslu, or is it necessary to put some rules and regulations in place to protect us from

• sponges and free riders?
• the weaknesses of our human nature?
• neurotics who want to hijack the community for their private goals?
• pervasive social influences which have a centrifugal cumulative effect?
• the class enemy?

Workaholics

work in order to escape inner pain. This is respectable in society at large, in which work is more important than the worker, but it is an obstacle to genuine relations in a cohousing community.

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